Steps you can take to ease the sting of criticism

To become a top performer, you’ll need to open yourself up to feedback from those around you. Here are some steps you can take to ease the sting of criticism and begin to make it work for you, instead of against you.

1.Hit the Pause Button - It’s important to maintain your composure and not lash back or respond defensively to criticism. Take a breath. Don’t do or say anything. This brief pause not only helps you compose yourself and prepare to listen to what the other person has to say, it demonstrates your poise and self-confidence. Maintaining your composure when criticized shows that you’re in control.

2.Turn On Your Brain and Turn Off Your Emotions - It’s important to disconnect your automatic emotional response to criticism. Otherwise you won’t be able to objectively consider the value of the information. Focus on the words and facts, not on the feelings they generate within you. Regardless of how undiplomatic the other person is in delivering the feedback, tell yourself that it is designed to help you improve, not to tear you down.

3.Listen Carefully - Listen intently to what the other person is saying. If you’re busy formulating your rebuttal, you may miss some valuable information that can help you avoid errors in the future or improve your overall performance.

While any criticism can be discouraging, it’s important to keep in mind that negative feedback can contribute significantly to faster growth and higher performance.

How to Forgive the Unforgivable

One of the hardest, thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness and to forgive the unforgivable.

We love to read stories about people who've responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst, depression, righteousness, hatred, etc.

Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts. Want to live a long, happy life?

Forgive the unforgivable. It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering they've purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. As Ann Landers often said, "hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored."

Presentation Tips for Public Speaking

Know the needs of your audience and match your contents to their needs.

Know your material thoroughly. Put what you have to say in a logical sequence. Ensure your speech will be captivating to your audience as well as worth their time and attention. Practice and rehearse your speech at home or where you can be at ease and comfortable, in front of a mirror, your family, friends or colleagues. Use a tape-recorder and listen to yourself. Videotape your presentation and analyze it. Know what your strong and weak points are. Emphasize your strong points during your presentation.

When you are presenting in front of an audience, you are performing as an actor is on stage. How you are being perceived is very important. Dress appropriately for the occasion. Be solemn if your topic is serious. Present the desired image to your audience. Look pleasant, enthusiastic, confident, proud, but not arrogant. Remain calm. Appear relaxed, even if you feel nervous. Speak slowly, enunciate clearly, and show appropriate emotion and feeling relating to your topic. Establish rapport with your audience. Speak to the person farthest away from you to ensure your voice is loud enough to project to the back of the room. Vary the tone of your voice and dramatize if necessary. If a microphone is available, adjust and adapt your voice accordingly.

Body language is important. Standing, walking or moving about with appropriate hand gesture or facial expression is preferred to sitting down or standing still with head down and reading from a prepared speech. Use audio-visual aids or props for enhancement if appropriate and necessary.

Master the use of presentation software such as PowerPoint well before your presentation. Do not over-dazzle your audience with excessive use of animation, sound clips, or gaudy colors which are inappropriate for your topic. Do not torture your audience by putting a lengthy document in tiny print on an overhead and reading it out to them.

Speak with conviction as if you really believe in what you are saying.

Persuade your audience effectively. The material you present orally should have the same ingredients as that which are required for a written research paper, i.e. a logical progression from INTRODUCTION (Thesis statement) to BODY (strong supporting arguments, accurate and up-to-date information) to CONCLUSION (re-state thesis, summary, and logical conclusion).

Do not read from notes for any extended length of time although it is quite acceptable to glance at your notes infrequently. Speak loudly and clearly.

Sound confident. Do not mumble. If you made an error, correct it, and continue. No need to make excuses or apologize profusely.

Maintain sincere eye contact with your audience. Use the 3-second method, e.g. look straight into the eyes of a person in the audience for 3 seconds at a time. Have direct eye contact with a number of people in the audience, and every now and then glance at the whole audience while speaking. Use your eye contact to make everyone in your audience feel involved.

Speak to your audience, listen to their questions, respond to their reactions, adjust and adapt. If what you have prepared is obviously not getting across to your audience, change your strategy mid-stream if you are well prepared to do so. Remember that communication is the key to a successful presentation. If you are short of time, know what can be safely left out. If you have extra time, know what could be effectively added.

Always be prepared for the unexpected.

Pause. Allow yourself and your audience a little time to reflect and think.

Don't race through your presentation and leave your audience, as well as yourself, feeling out of breath.

Add humor whenever appropriate and possible. Keep audience interested throughout your entire presentation. Remember that an interesting speech makes time fly, but a boring speech is always too long to endure even if the presentation time is the same.

When using audio-visual aids to enhance your presentation, be sure all necessary equipment is set up and in good working order prior to the presentation. If possible, have an emergency backup system readily available.  Check out the location ahead of time to ensure seating arrangements for audience, whiteboard, blackboard, lighting, location of projection screen, sound system, etc. are suitable for your presentation.

Have handouts ready and give them out at the appropriate time. Tell audience ahead of time that you will be giving out an outline of your presentation so that they will not waste time taking unnecessary notes during your presentation.

Know when to STOP talking. Use a timer or the microwave oven clock to time your presentation when preparing it at home. Just as you don't use unnecessary words in your written paper, you don't bore your audience with repetitious or unnecessary words in your oral presentation. To end your presentation, summarize your main points in the same way as you normally do in the CONCLUSION of a written paper. Remember, however, that there is a difference between spoken words appropriate for the ear and formally written words intended for reading. Terminate your presentation with an interesting remark or an appropriate punch line. Leave your listeners with a positive impression and a sense of completion. Do not belabor your closing remarks. Thank your audience and sit down.

Put A Shark In Your Tank

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish.
But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.
So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.
The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish.
If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh.
The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats.
They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea.
Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.
However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks.
They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.

After a little hashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive.

Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference.
Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.
The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.
So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? 
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks.
But now they add a small shark to each tank.
The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting a successful company,
paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose your passion.
You don't need to work so hard so you relax.
Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple.

"Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."

The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem.
If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are happy.
You think of your challenges and get energised. You are excited to try new solutions.
You have fun. You are alive!

Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them. Enjoy the game.
If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired.
Instead, reorganise. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help.
Don't create success and lie in it. You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference.

Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

Mad with Love

 A long time ago, before the world was created and  humans set foot on it, God had put all the human "qualities" in a separate room.

 Since all the qualities were bored they decided to  play hide & seek. "Madness" was one of the qualities and he shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!"

 And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek  "Madness", all the other qualities agreed. So  "Madness" leaned against a tree and started to

count: "One, two,three..."

 As "Madness" counted, the qualities went hiding.

 "Treason" hid in a pile of garbage.. "Lie" said that  it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake. And Madness continued to count "...

 seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..." By this time,  all the qualities were already hidden except "Love  ". For  stupid as "Love" is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide  "Love".

"Madness": "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety  seven..."  Just when "Madness" got to one hundred........."Love" jumped into a rose bush where  he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm  coming, I'm coming!" As Madness turned around,  "Laziness" was the first to be found, because  "Laziness" was too lazy to hide. "Madness" searched  madly and found "Lie" at the bottom of the lake. One  by one, Madness found them all except Love.  Madness  was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious  of Love, "Envy" whispered  to "Madness" "You only  need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose  bush." "Madness" Jumped on the rose bush and he  heard loud cry. The thorns in the bush had pierced  "Loves" eyes :((

 Hearing the commotion God came into the room and saw  what had happened. He got very angry and cursed "Madness" and said since "Love" has become blind  because of u  ..u shall always be with him"

 And so it came about that from that day on,  "Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness

Let Manmohan stay

I am not aware how many of you have knowledge of the Nuclear Deal. I have read the deal in totality and strongly believe that the deal is in favour of India and will go a long way in solving India's energy concerns. Unfortunately, politics has taken over and no one wants to give credit to Manmohan Singh for his vison in ensuring that our future and our rural areas are illuminated with power. No one should doubt the integrity of Manmohan.

The BJP was the party which intially began discussions on the Nuclear deal and had infact agreed for much lower concessions on the deal. However, when the UPA came into power, they drew a hard bargain and got us a good deal which is more in favour of India.

For once, some party has put India's national interests in mind. let us not let hypocrizy spoil our chances for a brighter tomorrow. Though, it seems appearant that the Government will fall now, the youth should give a fitting reply to all parties who have jeopordized India's chances for a better future.

Love!!!

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn'tmean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralphsuddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool andstayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulledhim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic actshe immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as shenow considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good newsand bad news.The good news is you're being discharged, since you wereable to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the lifeof the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays soundmindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobebelt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..How soon can I go home?'